What’s the difference between Africans and Europeans?
They do US to clown… and we do THEM for real!
Sad….
A Black And White Difference
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What’s the difference between Africans and Europeans?
They do US to clown… and we do THEM for real!
Sad….
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Next post: Guess What Lil’ Wayne Is Doing?
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
C’mon Black women, we NEED ya’ll! I know you think that hair is not an issue. IT IS! It reveals what is going on in your mind. It reveals that there is a certain level of hatred no matter what you say.
Quote:
“You claim to love God and have faith in God’s perfection yet you are ashamed to look the way God designed you to look. If you believe God is perfect why do SO MANY perms get bought each year?”
You never see a white person is an afro wig being serious! Why do we do it?
If we had the money to go out and support our people when they wear their hair in an afro then everyone would do it. But our funds are spent a fifth of everything rather than to buy an album. So they must dress to appeal the old white man controlling the budget for her to do what she loves. And our mainds are programmed after seeing it for the last 5 years to think is is sexy. I didn’t even notice the assimilation until you pointed it out. I thought she looked sexy until comparing it to one of her booty pics. Ha Ha
Well Jason, I’m glad I pointed it out then. It takes someone to actually point things out sometimes for us to see what was right beneath our noses.
I completely agree I am 100% natural PERMS,RELAXERS, EXTENSIONS are so unnatural and are very harmful to your health I admit Ive done weaves before to do pageants and done a couple of relaxers but Then i realized this is not my natural state as well as my father told me be proud of who you are and never try to be somebody you are not. Black and Panamanian and PROUD.
I’ve been on both sides of this coin; I switch up because I want to. I don’t love myself any less and I’m not trying to be anyone else.
Not everyone is on that “I hate my nappy hair” kick when they relax their hair. Some people just like change. I know this is a deep issue for a lot of people, so I’ll just leave it there. LOL.
I’m assuming your comment was directed at the person above you, yes?
No. It was directed at the post (and previous posts on this topic) in general. You seem to have the sentiment that people that don’t wear their hair naturally hate themselves.
Well, I’ll approach it like this: In the days of our parents and grandparents there was a popular practice going on. What would happen is they’d use clothes pins on the bridge of their noses to make them more narrow. This was a common practice.
Why would anyone put a clothes pin on their nose to make it more narrow unless they hated their nose OR there was some sort of health benefit to having it narrow? I don’t think it was for health benefits.
So what is the health benefit to straightening ones hair? If there was an accident and you fell or hit your head it would be more beneficial to have the cushioning of natural African hair. Straightened hair makes sleeping uncomfortable in most cases because you have all sorts of contraptions on your head to maintain the straightness. Aside from hate what can it be?
So (and I’m extending the argument you made here), everything you do in life is done because it is beneficial to your health? I’m willing to wager that it isn’t.
Putting a clothespin on your nose won’t make it more narrow no matter how much you hate yourself. And hair wouldn’t provide much cushion if you were to hit your head with enough force for it to be damaging in the first place. How someone chooses to wear their hair does not have to be a result of hate or love. Some reasons are purely aesthetic; some like change; some like the versatility that straight hair provides better than the versatility nappy provides. Different strokes, different folks. The issue isn’t black or white the way you make it.
African hair is the way it is because of the way the people evolved there; curly hair that grows out instead of down allows for less heat to be trapped in the body. For people who evolved in colder climates, the hair straightened and grew down so that heat could be trapped in the body. Aside from what biology granted the species depending on where they were (largely irrelevant for people living in America), I can’t see any health benefit to having hair either way. Yes there are caustic chemicals in relaxers, but there are also caustic chemicals in the things you use to clean your bathroom.
I feel what you are trying to do with this site, but the sweeping generalizations that you make on here make it hard for me to nod in agreement with what you say.
No, everything isn’t as much as I’d like to believe it is.
Have you ever heard of Chinese foot binding? If you haven’t here is a link: Click here
…the point is to say if you put a pin of your nose after a period you CAN augment it’s original form.
No, your hair isn’t going to stop a bullet. But it does lessen the impact of everyday (every other day, hopefully) clumsy mistakes that leave our heads vulnerable to injury.
And again:
“IF you were living in a box for 20 some odd years without contact with any of these influences around you, if one day freed, I truly doubt that you’d have an urge to buy a gluttonous amount of shoes or have an urge to perm your hair.”
Everything happens for a reason. We sometimes tell ourselves we are doing it for one reason but not truly understanding the reason behind it ourselves. It’s like a gang banger may think he joined the gang for protection, money, and women. But deep down he may have never felt love. He may be looking for male bonding time he never received from his father who left him.
I think perms are evidence that African (in America) women feel ugly deep down. I think they feel white women are more beautiful. I think this is a result of slavery and also the media shoving European beauty down our throats.
Kinda feel you on the last line, but again you can’t reach that far and apply it to everyone. You don’t know that many people.
Believe what you will about the cushioning argument. Hitting my head on something hurts whether or not my hair is nappy or straight.
Foot binding and a clothespin on someone’s nose are miles apart on the scale of body alterations. There is not enough force in one clothespin to reshape the cartilage or bone in the nose permanently (operative word being permanently). Binding required for the bones to be broken. Not quite the same thing.
If I were living in a box for 20 years, I doubt I’d be able to interact with people, possess any real cognitive ability, or speak. There’s a lot that wouldn’t be on my mind.
You cannot claim to know people’s reasons for doing things. I, for one, do not hate myself, feel ugly, or feel white women are more beautiful. My hair is straightened and has been worn both natural and straightened prior to how it is now. The fact that I don’t fit in with your explanation should show you that hyper-extending your conclusions doesn’t benefit your argument. Believe it or not, some women don’t know how to properly care for natural hair and straighten it. Do they secretly feel ugly, or are they simply ignorant? Some have been getting their hair straightened since they were children and don’t know anything else. If they see a sis with a beautiful fro, do they think she’s ugly because of her hair? I’ve heard more compliments for napped up hair that was well maintained than I’ve heard negative comments.
I’m sure that what you say is true for some and that what I’ve said is true for some; therein lies my point: you can’t claim to know everyone’s reason for doing something. People are more complex than you make them out to be.
InnyVinny, you make your point that the generalization doesn’t necessarily apply to everybody; however, I think you’d have a much stronger leg to stand on if the majority of Black women wore their hair natural and every once in a while, we saw a Black woman whose hair is processed. Presently, the reverse is the case, which, judging from a societal standpoint, points to there being a self-hate issue among Black people as a whole (both the women who feel they’re more beautiful the more that they look like a white woman and the Black men who also buy into that belief whose attraction we value). I believe that that is what Ewbar is talking about.
The fact that this argument may not apply to you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t apply, from a societal/community standpoint, and therefore it is something that needs to be addressed.
I’m merely asking that he extend the argument or at least look at it from a broader perspective. I get what he’s trying to say, I really do. But calling it self-hate is ill-informed. I’m assuming both of you are men, and so wouldn’t understand the issue. It’s complicated.
No, I’m actually a woman, but I can accept that I have a different perspective than you. I’ve never been one (perhaps because my mother wasn’t either) to want to set up appointments weeks in advance to arrange sitting in a hot, chatter-filled hair salon for a big chunk of my day. As far as doing my hair myself, which I did when I was relaxed/pressed, I finally just started feeling like it was getting tired. I’d burned my forehead and ears with hot combs and curling irons too many times. If I was relaxed, any time I had even the slightest bit of new growth, if I sweat at all or there was the slightest moisture in the air, my roots would “go back” and I’d be stuck looking messy. If I was pressed, I was still worried about the heat damage from hot combs that was making it impossible for me to switch to curly (permanent straight strands in a curly ‘do are not the business)… plus the whole “avoid moisture at all costs” problem.
I just felt like all the time, effort, and money I was spending to change how I look was silly, when I am just as happy if not more-so with the hair that I was made to have. Now, I take less than five minutes in the morning to add moisture to my hair in the form of water (i used to hate water on my hair except on washday), a bit of avocado oil on my drier parts, and a leave-in conditioner. Washdays take about fifteen minutes instead of an hour or two. Super easy and it looks gorgeous. Plus I was able to clear my counters and cabinets of all the hair-straightening instruments/products I had cluttering my space.
But then, I also hardly wear make-up. I feel beautiful without all the extra stuff, and I’m grateful to be one of the ones who do feel so.
Just because some black women relax their hair it does not mean they are ashamed of how God made them. Do you shave your legs and armpits? If you do, does that mean you are ashamed of the way you are naturally? Relaxing our hair doesn’t mean we want to be white it just means that we want straight hair! Also, natural hair is much harder to maintain and take care of that straightened hair in my opinion (I’ve had both styles). You think every black woman with relaxed hair had the thought in mind that they wanted to be just like that white woman they saw on the T.V or in a magazine?? Natural hair does not suit everybody. Everyone would not look as good with an afro style as they do with straight hair. I don’t know why black people accuse other black people of selling out when they probably do things that could be seen as “white” also. Should we also not put lotion on our skin and leave it dry and ashy? Shouldn’t that be seen as making us look more like a white person? Should a black person not skateboard because the sport is predominantly white? Are those things seen as “selling out”? Why is relaxing our hair SO bad? White people DO have hairstyles that are considered black…example: dreadlocks and cornrows. They wear these styles seriously too. Is that seen as them trying to be black or them just simply wanting the style because they like it?
Giovanna, please see my above comments – particularly these parts:
“you make your point that the generalization doesn’t necessarily apply to everybody; however, I think you’d have a much stronger leg to stand on if the majority of Black women wore their hair natural and every once in a while, we saw a Black woman whose hair is processed.”
and
“I just felt like all the time, effort, and money I was spending to change how I look was silly, when I am just as happy if not more-so with the hair that I was made to have.”
and
“I can accept that I have a different perspective than you.”
The entire comment thread is worth a read, though.
Also, can I ask, what was so difficult about maintaining your hair in a natural state? I’ve heard this difficulty spoken of before, but never in specific terms and everyone I know who wears their hair natural hasn’t ever mentioned it. Thanks.
Its difficult for me because of the kind of hair I have naturally. It is very thick and very tightly coiled. If I just leave it out in a puff it is very hard and painful to pick through it and if I style it in twists and that takes me about four hours to do and it only lasts about three days for me. Whereas if I have my hair relaxed I can just wrap it at night time and them in the morning comb it out or put it in a pony and I’m good to go. Though washing does take longer…the styling time makes up for it.
Oh yeah, I feel that one. I have to make sure my hair is saturated with either water or conditioner before I even think about combing, brushing, or running my fingers through it. Otherwise, it knots and breaks a lot. Also, when I am combing it, if I start at the root and comb to the tips, it makes huge knots toward the ends, so I had to learn to comb from the opposite direction.
I’ve worn my hair in various sized Afros since I did my chop in 2005, but the fanciest I’ve gotten with styling was to do some Bantu knots once, which don’t take nearly as long as twists. I remember twisting my hair back in college when I was going back and forth between being relaxed and pressed, and how much my wrists and arms would wind up hurting from the effort, but I also remember feeling that same ache from the straightening process. Recently, I haven’t been doing either one, but I think you inspired me to try twisting again, just to see how I like it. Thanks!
yeah thats how I have my hair now and I think it look great! I’ve gotten tons of compliments. Use the organic lock and twist gel and not beeswax though! Beeswax makes the hair stiff and very sticky and it has a very greasy appearance. The lock and twist gel holds the twists in place but it dries clean, doesn’t flake and isn’t sticky or gummy.
Thanks for the product recommendation. I also remember having a lot of luck with Qhemet Biologics’ Honeybush Tea Soft Gel, but it doesn’t provide a long-lasting hold. I’ll give the Lock & Twist Gel a try. I remember using their Hair Mayo conditioner back in the day and it took me forever to realize that I should just switch if I didn’t like having flakes of herbs and things left over in my hair.
P.S. I just looked at the ORS Product Page, and it says that the gel works best when set with a dryer. Do you use one? I’d rather not and was wondering how well it works without it.
I think the problem of being easier to manage also has to do with what is accepted by others. In others words, being easier to manage means it being easier to make it look acceptable, which for some means how easy it is to make their hair “lay down”….but why does it have to lay down? why can’t black woman just comb their hair and wear it the way it is..There are MANY styles that could be worn to make your hair easy to manage, but why do black woman always CHOOSE making it straight to make it manageable. Again, this applies to many but I’m not saying all.
White woman complain about their hair being hard to manage as well, but most of them are not out permanently changing the texture to look like other peoples (yes, I know, some of them perm it to make it curly but it’s still curly in a white people sort of way…you know what i mean) They know that their hair is acceptable to keep it the way it is.
Also, if wearing straight hair is just a style or a preference, why perm/relax it so that you can’t get it back to its natural state..Why not just straighten it so you have the option to wear it curly again. Once you burn the hell out of it, you’ve damaged it for good so the intention is to “change” it, NOT “style” it..
just a few points for thought
Great points. Yes, it’s the same reasons used forever, but I guess this argument has been going on for just as long. It’s a new day, though, or so I think it is. The potential is there. We can create our own destiny right now if we decide to just do it. It’s going to take a united effort. From the kids on the blocks to the family that’s now in the white house.
I wish this conversation could be handled differently. I am convinced that the only way to convert permed sistas over to natural is by example.
I just dont understand this argument, its like an attempted to be pro black so you have to be anti white. We live in another country, where european influence is all around us. Granted I do believe that at some point and in some people it is apparent that they are not satisfied with their appearance in light of what america deems beautiful. But at this point I think people can make an informed choice about how they want to wear their hair. Now if that sister is wearing her hair str8 because she believes shes ugly without then theres a problem but if she likes the euro look better and believes its more pleasing to whoever, it doesnt mean she hates herself. We all want to look our best at times in order to appeal to who we want to appeal to. Lets get past this hair issue and focus on self love whether your black white or brown.
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And I repeat, we do not have to be anti white to love blackness. And blackness can be defined any way we please because we are free to choose whatever we want. Lets be human first!!
Totally agree again homie. Tired of seein that fake, ugly, and shinny ‘yack’ hair. BLACK WOMEN STOP! IT STINKS! Guess its why I appreciate my girl, who wears it natural.
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I was reading the back and forth between InnyVinny and Ewbar. I agree with both of you. Many women (and men) do have a dislike of who they are and go through attempts to change it. BUT, as Vinny pointed out, that is not always the case. Ewbar, it is not always linked to some unconscious need or hatred that we just aren’t aware of.
I for one get my hair relaxed semi-religiously. I’ll go a while without getting it relaxed and just go get it blown out. My hair otherwise is just way too course, way too nappy. I like being able to comb my hair in each day without it getting pulled and tugged. Relaxing and otherwise blowing my hair out makes it manageable. It has nothing to do with history of Blacks in America. Yes, it is true that colonized areas have been lead to believe that the European aesthetic is what people want. That answers why many Africans, Indians and even some Black Americans bleach their skin. It answers why some will where colored contacts. Those are overt attempts to “look white” and many will admit that is the goal. In India, White is still Right. In America, we may still have that problem but I don’t think a blond weave hints at that. I died my hair honey blond once. Why? Because I went and died my hair and when the color wore out I was left with a blond/light brown head. It looked nice so I did it again. I straighten my hair because it’s nice knowing that one day I can rock a pony tail or wear it down or any other style I choose. It’s nice not to break a comb or two and be able to wash my hair without worrying about it kinking up (after blowing it dry). It’s def. not about some unknown dislike about being black. I actually LOVE seeing people with natural hair. I just can’t pull it off.
D, as far as maintaining a natural hairstyle. For some reason it is a lot more effort, in my opinion. I’ve looked through magazines and websites for tips since I’d love to maybe rock a natural look every once and a while and guess what??? THere’s just as many products that to into and maintaining it than when I just get my hair washed, conditioned, and blown out. Besides the shampoo and conditioner, there’s still a leave-in, in some cases a product to help it stay put. Some mags will tell you to use a hot comb THEN turn around and re-curl it. I can’t go down the list b/c after reading I just said: forget it.
I feel you that many women have grown up getting their hair processed and thus do not know what to do. I am one of them. I grew up in and out of the hospital and wearing cornrows or extensions (Brandy braids) was a lot easier. But in between hospital stays I got relaxed, hot combed and all that. I never learned how to do my own hair b/c someone was always doing it for me so now it is just easier to go to teh salon, get a wash and set and a blow out than it is for me to learn how to keep it up myself. I JUST bought my own flat iron and a blowdryer maybe 2-3 years ago. Guess what, I’ve used it 2x each.
Gio, you are right. Not everyone looks good natural. I feel I won’t. The few times I purposefully cornrowed my hair, it looked wonderful. It looked great, actually. Then I’d take it out b/c I wanted the curly look (but still natural) and it looked okay. What will not look great on me is a more kinked look, locks, thick cornrows, etc. It just won’t work.
For me, relaxing was simply no longer an option. My hair was starting to break and relaxers(I tried a couple different brands to see if they made a difference) seemed to stop working. My hair began to get dry and brittle. Since going natural, my hair has gotten longer than it ever had during the 14 years I was relaxed. It is much stronger and though it is different to manage, I can’t say it is really harder. It takes a while to comb because it is so tightly coiled and about 4 hours to twist(it hits about to my shoulder blades when stretched), but the twists can be worn for a while if you do them small enough. I usually keep them up from two weeks to two months depending on how small they are and then take them out and wear it loose for a week to a month after that. You can still wash your hair in twists without taking them out and it can still look good.
Overall, though, I can see the argument here. In another post of the OP’s, he talks about Dr. Cress Welsing’s stance on the Black man penis which is talked about in her book, The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors. I state this to say that she talks a lot about the conscious and subconscious reasons for the way we do things. With this in mind, self-hate can be a very real reason for Black women(and men) to straighten their hair. They just may not realize it because it is ingrained in them on a purely subconscious level. We don’t manifest or process things on the same plane consciously as we do subconsciously. Things come out through our thoughts, actions, speech, etc., but still, we may not even realize how we really feel until someone points it out AND we are willing to look deep enough into our entire selves to see if this is true for us or not. And we may find that it is NOT the truth, but this would vary from person to person.
These are simply my opinions and my personal experiences when it comes to being my natural self in ALL ways versus changing any part of myself from its natural state.
on point.
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Ewbar, that question and answer article hit me between the eyes. I’m gonna ask some of the Fam that and watch the reaction i get. we do em for real don’t we. Damn!
Tyra Banks did a show that showed how some black girls hated their natural Afro hair and equated it with being ugly. The saddest thing was, the mothers encouraged it. One of the mothers’ who was white not only had her daughter’s hair straightened, but had a weave as well.
I thought we’d of pass this good hair bad hair shit by now.